Sunday, January 25, 2009

Prank Wars

One evening I got a covert text saying, "Can I trust you?" A sudden excitement and curiosity shot through my spine. I quickly replied in the affirmative, eager for any action that might ensue. The plan was then revealed to me that this apartment of girls wanted to pull a prank on the guys who's apartment I was staying at. The time was set and my involvement clear: I was to leave the basement door unlocked and create some background noise so the sleeping guys upstairs wouldn't hear anything. Around 1:00 am 5 girls slipped into the downstairs room with hundreds of newspapers. Crumpling them up they began to bury the floor of the room. The plan worked perfect and after 45min the fiends snuck away and left this mess...

The next morning the guys were surprised to find the cluttered mess downstairs and plans of retaliation were immediately put into effect. It took 3 of us with two shopping carts a half hour to clear out the newspapers.
An apartment meeting was quickly called and I, being accused as an accomplice, wasn't invited. Ideas were pooled together and a plan was concocted. It took a few days but eventually the guys forgave me and let me join in on their evil plan. We let a week or so go by, so that the girls wouldn't expect when the retribution would come. Finally on Sunday, when everyone was at church I went over to the girls apartment and rang the door bell. I rang it again and knocked loudly making sure no one was home and to my delight no one was---perfect! I texted the guys, "No one is home, it's on!" I was soon joined at home by the others. We got our supplies and being cunning men got into their apartment. We started by stacking all their furniture against the front door. A can of tuna fish was put up in the ceiling vent in their front room. Then we greased up 3 bowling balls, plugged the holes and stuck them in the 3 toilets of their apartment. We also caused the water to become yellow (easily done by guys) and made the bathrooms reek of dead animal and poo. With the awful smell leaking from under the bathroom doors and through the rest of the house we quickly left--not being able to stand the stench.


The girls thought the furniture was funny but were quite concerned about the smell coming from the bathrooms. We told them it was coyote urine and fungus's...which in reality it may or may not be true...the truth will have to remain a mystery. They also complained of smelling tuna but couldn't find the source for a week or so. We all were laughing so hard especially when we pretended like we couldn't smell the tuna or we would walk by and leave the bathroom door open letting the smell out again and tease them about the awful rashes they would get. Oh gosh...it was hilarious. When you pick a fight with a bunch of boys you better know it's not going to be pretty.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Not for the Squeamish

WARNING: Do not look at the following pictures if you can't handle flesh wounds and blood.

Now I'm sure with a warning like that no one will be able to resist looking at my latest test of human regeneration. "Be safe, and come back alive," the wives and loved ones said as we packed the Jeep with our snowboards. "Yeah...yeah...we'll be fine," was our response to the worried women. No pain no gain right? Besides we were men and mother nature was calling us to conquer its snowy slopes. The conditions on the mountain were cold and rainy but we still had a fun time attempting jumps and sliding across the rails in the snow park. Late in the afternoon tragedy struck as I was waiting on the slope for Ty. He came skidding to a stop, but didn't stop fast enough and his board collided into my leg. Whether it was the cold or the rain, or maybe both, the impact didn't seem to hurt and I didn't at all feel the blood start oozing from my leg. So we happily got up and snowboarded for another hour. It wasn't until I got to the car and took off my snow pants that I saw this eyeball looking flesh wound staring at me with dried blood down my leg. I went to the ski patrol and they gave me 2 gauze pads and an alcohol pad. Boy, with this top notch medical equipment I was now ready to fix a paper cut. Once we got back to Ty's house his mother-in-law helped clean and bandage things up. The guys were excited about a cool scar and the girls were maybe a little more worried. But what good is an adventure without a war wound to remember it by.


Thanks for the story Ty.
Thanks for cleaning and sterilizing your bathroom in world record time Shonda.
Thanks for your Dr. skills Sandy.

I warned you about looking. Pretty sweet though huh?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Busta Move

You may see guys like this. Guys who dedicate their lively hood to sign waving, often distracting you from your driving to focus your attention on some gimmick or sale. I've seen them holding signs, guitars, and even saw one dressed as the Statue of Liberty. When I'm stopped at a red light, i try not to, but I can't stop my eyes shifting to settle on them as they dance to the music coming from their mp3 player. Recently I may have found the best sign dancer out there. Props to T-mobile for finding this diamond among the sign dancer community.